RNSG Autumn Tour – Woodbridge Wanderers – 30 September 2020

An orderly, gang of 9 turned up to play in pleasingly symmetrical 3 x 3 balls at an excellently presented course in great settings, warmish weather with a fair breeze blowing and a big threat of rain on the last 9 holes.

For once the ladies and men played off the same stroke allowances showing that the Equal Handicap Allowances Matter campaign is finally gaining traction.

That tidy order belied the confusion a certain Mr Spanner had caused by leaving the address of Purdis Heath in the diary booking. Poor Greg and Vince who had put that post code in their sat navs, had set off in good time but realised close to Purdis Heath, or at it, that travel plans were amiss. Their subsequent mad dash to the right venue caused Greg to miss a lunch stop, and Vince dropped back to the re-organised last grouping to give him more time.  Nice to have you with us in spirit if not in actual presence Bob.

With pre-drawn pairs John Butler (returning from England over 80s winter hockey training) was included in the Barnard family bubble, Greg Gladwell was welcomed into Andrew and Jill Gooch’s family group. Vince became an honorary Frazer and joined up with Chris and Kevin to reminisce about IT in the 1980s, camper van tours, and days gone by when they all used to score 40 point hauls.

Time for the regular fashion report, well Robert Barnard wins this week’s best groomed player award with a smart blue and grey theme. That extra time on the hair-do was well worth it!  Andrew and Greg co-ordinated excellently in beige trousers and sports tops – it’s what the mature man is into this autumn, and it’s always handy for the mud stains to be the same colour as the trousers.

The miscommunication that had plagued Vince and Greg had clearly impacted the ladies dress sense too. Although playing the Woodbridge Golf Course there was no bridge, and no river – so why Jo, Jill and Chris all end up playing in life-jackets is unknown. Rumours that their diary bookings showed that we were playing a seaside course are being investigated.

Jo, Robert and John teed off first and in a tight first 9 tussle Jo won by a whisker (Jo you must get those seen to) with 17 points to the guys 16.

John gets things underway while Robert looks on in his smart golfing gear

Second group away saw Andrew find the course to his liking with a stylish 20 points. Greg having popped some anti-migraine pills on the second tee was not as co-ordinated in his golf as he was in his dress sense and limped to 14 points, just pipping Jill’s 13 points. 2 blobs each did for their chances of outright success.

Andrew and Greg discuss their disappointment on not winning the best dressed golfer prize

Following behind the re-emerging Vince struggled to a meagre 10 points with far too many blobs.

Vince on his way to his first blob of the day

Chris managed a steady 14 points and Kevin found some fine form with 18 points to be in a mid-way 2^nd place.

Chris nearly sunk this putt on the 3rd for what would have been a birdied but later on chipped in on the 16th for the only 4 pointer today

So onto the back 9 as the storm clouds gathered and the wind picked up, and the lifejackets were duly pumped. Jo and John stuttered with 14 and 13 points dropping them out of the mix on 31 and 29 points respectively. 

Jo emerges from the undergrowth after an unsuccessful search for the ball

Robert however buoyed by his best-groomed player award (note Robert was buoyed without a lifejacket) walked tall and proud for 17 points and a very acceptable 33 points total. Worthy of a place perhaps?

Greg got off to a poor start with 1 point in the first 2 holes and with waning interest and a sub-standard putter just avoided the wooden spoon with a poor 12 points and 26 in total. 

Jill found some form, as you would expect from the newly crowned Bawburgh Ladies Net and Gross Club Champion, and with 16 points could hold her head high (and well above water), totalling 29 points all together.

The last group also found the back 9 tougher, or is it really that we are all just a load of old gits that get tired far too easily nowadays? Vince reduced his blob quota so upped his game to a respectable 14 points, but won a really lovely spoon for the trophy cabinet. Chris got to the same 14 point total but by a different route, including the only 4 pointer of the day with a birdie on a par 5.

Chris suggests both her playing partners take provisionals on the 11th despite their original balls eventually being found on the edge of the fairway

That left “Long Covid” Kev to battle Silver Fox Andrew and Style Guru Robert for top honours. Things were looking good for Kevin until a blob on stroke index 17 pulled him back to equal 2^nd on 33 points with Robert leaving Andrew to take the crown and the winners pot for the day.

This was the last known sighting of Kevin's shiny green ball as it was never seen again after toeing it over the trees

The rain started as we were in the car park, so we were all grateful for a speedy 3 hours 40 minutes round that kept us dry. With the right postcodes in the sat navs everyone at least got home safely and quickly.

Although the temperature is falling things are hotting up in the Race to Sheringham, for The Autumn C19 Challenge Champion. It’s the biggie in UK golf right now and with not much sport going on in the UK there’s the possibility of a potential place on BBCs Sports Personality of the Year up for grabs and David Attenborough’s Instagram follower record is under threat.

Watch out for the next update as the tour swings back to the coast for the Hunstanton Sands of Glory Shield. (For the avoidance of doubt that is at PE36 6JQ). 

Autumn tour round 3 at Kings Lynn

Low Scoring Classic

For the third instalment of the Autumn Tour, eight players headed west to one of the county’s favourite courses, King’s Lynn. With Tim, winner of the last event at Royal Cromer and joint money-list leader, unavailable, this looked to be the perfect opportunity for Kevin to put some distance between himself and the chasing pack. A shortened season means every penny is worth …… well, about a penny …. in the chase for the title.

The day got off to an unexpected start when the pre-tournament press conference was cancelled due to this week’s press officer being unavoidably delayed. He did have the opportunity to interview Jill in the car on the journey to the course, but both were distracted by Pop-Master on Radio 2!

Under bright blue skies, and with the course in perfect condition, the first group of Robert, Vince, Chris and Jo set off. 

First group enthusiastically gather at start of rouns

Perhaps it was the calm weather that confused them, but the front 9 proved to be difficult. Jo was the most consistent, scoring on every hole for 15 points, mainly thanks to her only par (and 3 pointer) coming on the 9^th. Chris was similar, only parring the 8^th hole but, due to a blob on short par-3 5^th, scored 13.

Jo prepares to hit another straight drive

Robert, meanwhile, was doing his best to avoid the dangerous sunshine and remained in the trees for much of the round. He did venture out on the 1^st and 9^th holes, helping him to 11 points. 

Robert about to visit the woods again

Vince, on the other hand, saw no reason to come out into the sunshine unless it was really worth it, scoring 3 points on the 4^th and 8^th; for 6 of the other 7 holes, he felt it best to remain under cover and made the turn with just 7 points.

Vince looks on in despair as another ball misses the fairway and rough 

The second group of Andrew, Kevin, Bob and Jill all avoided the first fairway, but good recoveries from Jill and Andrew saw them make a 5 and 4 respectively. Bob, who has been having some more lessons, found it difficult to put all what has been taught into practice, failing to score on the first 3 holes. Some improvement was found for the rest of the front 9, but he struggled to just 8 points; he was excited at the end when he realised it wasn’t the lowest score of the day at that stage. 

Jill prepares to tee off whilst Bobs provisional nestles by the side of the ladies tee (and it was one of his longest drives over the opening holes)

Jill, maybe suffering from the lengthy walk to some of the ladies’ tees, was also finding it difficult to locate her swing and reached just 12 at the turn.

Kevin, who’s driving had recently been the strength of his game, seemed to have reverted to the old motto of “hit it hard and play it where you find it”! Unfortunately, some of the places he found it where not very playable and, on some holes, the lovely green colour of the ball made it impossible to find it in the …. well, green countryside! He did, however, manage to score 13 despite the 3 blobs in a row on 3, 4 and 5. 

This is the last sighting of this ball as Kevin thins it into a nettle patch

Andrew was going for consistency, not a term usually associated with his golf. Some straight driving – always helpful at King’s Lynn – and six 4’s in the first 7 holes saw him reach the turn with 17 points and in first place.

Andrew misses his birdie putt but still got his 2nd of 6 4's in the opening 7 holes.

Having understood that the sun was supposed to shine, and that the light winds were okay for golf, the back nine was an improvement for most players. Robert obviously didn’t believe this and remained safely in the trees while scoring just 10 points for a total of 21. 

Robert demonstrates to Vince how to escape from the trees

Vince saw the light – quite literally – and scored a respectable 14 on the back 9 for an overall 21; however, his 8 blobs for the round did have the statisticians reaching for the record books but, fortunately for Vince, there have been worse.

Vince excitingly prepares to play his approach shot as it wasn't actually in the trees

Chris and Jo decided that it was time to show everyone how to play golf. In a remarkable display of consistency, Chris scored 2 points on every hole on the back 9 for a total of 31 and 3^rd place.

Chris on her way to another back 9 two pointer

Jo’s day just got better and better as she ensured a blob-free round. Four more 3 pointers on the back 9 helped her to a fabulous 21 and a clubhouse leading total of 36. In the post-round interview, she put much of her success down to the chipping lesson that she and Robert had attended; Robert was not convinced that he’d been at the same lesson!

Jo on her way to a commanding lead

The second group had mixed fortunes. Bob’s game seemed to have improved when he hit an excellent tee-shot into the par-3 12^th and scored his first 3 pointer of the day. However, this was a false dawn and only 6 other points meant that Bob’s total of 17 would be last on the day. 

Bob misses his birdie putt after an excellent shot to the 12th green

Jill’s game was still hiding from her but, as the round progressed, there were glimpses that it was returning. She found points hard to come by and another 12 gave her 24 overall; amazingly, as was announced at the prize ceremony afterwards, this gave her 5^th place and 50p! 

Kevin and Andrew were having their own back 9 battle, both keeping the ball in play and staying blob-free. Despite the improvement in direction, Kevin’s 15 points was only enough for a total of 28 and 4^th place. Andrew had glory in his sights and, after 14 holes was only 1 over handicap. But he visited 3 bunkers on 15 and 16 for a point on each, and the trees on 18. His 15 points left him on 32 overall. 

Andrew prepares to play first of the 3 players to all find the same greenside bunker

So, it was Jo’s day and the third different winner of the season. Her £7.00 first prize saw her leap to the top of the prize money table just ahead of Kevin but, with 3 events remaining, anyone can still win the coveted title. Woodbridge is the next venue and all players were excited by this, mainly due to there being less trees!

 As the players enjoyed drinks on the terrace, the benefit of golf lessons and the glorious weather were the main talking points during the after-round press conference. With the sun shining brightly down the 18^th hole, and with the fairways in such good condition, many were left wondering why they had spent so much time in the shade; perhaps avoiding the trees should be the subject of the next lesson!

 RNSG Autumn Tour – Wednesday 2^nd September2020 – Royal Cromer

As the dreadful Bank Holiday weather cleared into autumn sunshine and a light breeze 8 good folk met at Cromer for round 2 of the one-off Autumn Tour.

Mike reminding everyone how he used to caddy for his Granddad in 1908 (or something like that)

Jo and Robert Barnard were grouped with Tim Simms and Bob Spanner, followed by Chris and Kevin Frazer with Greg Gladwell and Mike Hammond.

Tim gets proceedings underway

Vince has yet to bring his 20% reduced handicap to the RNSG tour and was sadly missed. The Gooch clan were testing themselves further afield, feeling the allure of Premiership level competition on the national Mixed Pairs circuit preferable to the cut and thrust of Championship level RNSG golf.

Political matters were dealt with early on. No competitors opted to take “the knee” at the start due to some confusion over the Black Wives Natter campaign. No migrants were noted off the coast.  No campaigners were present on the course.

In the pre-match fitness bulletins Greg reported back twinges, Chris limped with blisters, Kevin reported he was now around 80% of his ultra athlete fitness levels. Sandy had run so fast the G force had ripped tendons from muscles and she was out of action. Bob and Tim both passed imaginary random drug tests.

Excellent clothing selections were noted from the well co-ordinated Robert, Jo, Greg and Tim in blue, and Chris in mauve. Bob and Kevin went for the Tiger Woods type final round red shirts. Mike without Sandy’s advice dressed himself and had an interesting beige and lime green combo going on. No golf major has ever been one by a beige and lime combo player apparently, the chances of that ever happening seem remote. 

Mike in his lime green kit

The course was in a good condition with a fair bit of green grass on display for a change. The sanded greens made short game skills a little more tricky to master. It is always good to find one reason to blame conditions for poor play I find!

Greg missing his putt on the tricky greens

Tim was fast out of the traps with 3 x 3 pointers in the first 4 holes, confidence buoyed by his decision to forego shorts in case a rogue shower should strike. He kept it steady for a front 9 of 16 points. The rest of his group took on the challenge of looking for the lost ball as many times as they could and with 9, 10 and 11 points their goose was cooked somewhat too early for Xmas, but early enough for a few baguettes to be filled back at Glen Lodge.

Group 1 finishing their front 9

The second group were more consistent. Chris had a creditable 18 points with a blob. Greg, only participating after a 7.30 am C19 all clear decision, had off the tee woes and scrambled to 15. Kevin 14 with his normal driving display of great and grate, and steady Eddie Mike ,16 points, were in close attendance.

Kevin hitting one of his good drives on the 4th

On the homeward 9 the course pace slowed down. However, Tim continued to rack up the points playing well and headed into the last hole 1 over handicap on 33 points. Robert found 4 good holes for 13 points, and 5 mediocre ones for 6 more to have a very respectable 19 on the way home.  Robert’s total of 30 points was enough for a podium finish.

 Bob, current Cromer record holder, had sadly left his A game at home, as well as his B and C games. It was really a D level performance from Bob but to be consistent the government upgraded him to a C just for today and then got criticised for it. Jo was the bookies favourite before tee off but downgraded her playing too, scoring 8 points as well to give Bob some support.

Consolation for Bob has he made it on to the lowest RNSG scores record list in equal 3rd place. 

Close behind the last group hit a moment of shame on the Stroke Index 16 12^th hole with every one achieving nil points.  As both Mike and Kevin went up and down the slope in front of the green the You’ve Been Framed team filled their content boots. Enthusiasm dipped for the male contingent but Chris had the mental fortitude to hold it together and recovered well so she also limped down the last on 33 points and festering blisters.

Chris tees off on the back 9 at the start of her challenge for the title

Kevin tried to rally waning interest by relaying scoreboard updates as the he Greg and Mike came to the last… and then wished he hadn’t as Greg and Mike surged past him. Greg who had finally found his game on the last 4 holes, and Mike, who had been a caddy at Cromer when Noah was a boy, tied on 29 points. 3 blobs and 4 blobs respectively had curtailed Greg and Mike’s aspirations.

Two missed short putts from Kevin cost him the chance of any prize money today

And so it came to pass, that Chris and Tim would battle it out down the last hole (without being aware of it). Two titans of the RNSG tour, legends in their own families, each with a trophy cabinet full of empty shelves, set off with great hope in their hearts.

Decent drives from each made it 15 all as the commentators confused their sports.

Tim using all those many, many, many years of experience, reached the green in 2. Chris found the front bunker for 2. 30- 15 to Tim.

Chris then played a smart shot to 10 feet.  30 all.

Chris drained that putt into the hole dreaming of her first outright individual win since June 2018, leapt like a salmon and simultaneously punched the air. 40 – 30 to Chris.

Chris putting during an exciting battle with Tim on the back 9

Tim steadied himself, focused, and launched his 30 foot long putt towards the hole. Chris prayed for rain. The crowd, featuring a couple of bees and a grasshopper stayed behind the ropes, gasped as Tim made a complete mockery of tennis scoring in golf.  Tim nailed it for a birdie and took the win by a single point. Cometh the hour, cometh the Tim.

“Bravo” shouted the grass hopper. “Zzzzzzz” murmured the bees. Tim turned, smiled and strode off for the TV interview which you can download from Friday night. Onwards to Purdis for round 3.

 

 

Autumn tour round 1. (Felixstowe Ferry)

Autumn Tour Round 1

It was with great relief that some sort of RNSG tour could eventually happen this year. For the first time it would be an Autumn tour with 6 of the tours favourite courses selected to be played during August, September and October. There will be the normal tour comps running over the duration plus an extended tournament prize plan with a top prize of £7 available each time and a spectacular unprecedented £14 for the finale. 

Due to covid there were some new protocols in place with balls in the air or drawing lots no longer covid compliant so groupings were sorted in advance. As there was a chance of light rain then Tim had to withdraw as apparently he melts if he comes in contact with water. This left Jo and Robert to kick the mini tour off.

The score card had been checked and by comparing the Par and SSS then the women’s FFS for today’s round was 3 extra shots.

With Sunny blue skies Robert got things underway as he and Jo disappeared off into the sunset not to be seen again until they popped up on the 17th, 4 holes ahead of the rest of the field and back home in Norwich before anyone else had finished their round.

Robert gets the Autumn tour underway as Felixstowe starter checks he really is a 15 handicap

They also managed to dodge the second lot of rain. It was therefore not surprising their scoring was good with Robert recording 31 pts and Jo was leader in her front room on 34.

Jo (in favourable conditions) on her way to 34 points

Next off was the group of  Andrew, Greg and Jill featuring the lowest handicappers today. Andrew immediately put in his entry for the shortest drive as he topped his drive just past the ladies tee. The Felixstowe starter was far from convinced that he really was an 11 handicap. However he recovered well to scramble a point and ended up being the only player today to avoid a blob as he finished on a creditable 32 points and leading the lowest average blobs comp.

Andrew checking his drive had got off the ground on this occasion, it had.

After a number of recent fantastic rounds Jill bought her shinny new 6 handicap to the course and with the adjusted FFS she got half as many shots again so was the pre round favourite. However it turned out to be one of those days and she couldn't get her round going. In the end she decided to photograph her feet instead. 

Jill's feet

Greg was having the most eclectic round of the day which included 3 birdies and two blobs. One of his birdies was almost an eagle as it lipped out. He found himself sharing the lead on 34 points.

Greg plays a good shot in as the galleries admire his shot

This just left the last group to see if they could chase down the lead. A surprise early rain shower seemed to effect their games as Kevin missed several short putts, Chris kept chipping short and Bob forgot how to play golf altogether. 

One of many bunkers Bob found today, sadly he had run out of shots before he finally got out of this bad boy.

Chris was going best and a two putt on the 9th would have given her a respectable 17 points at halfway but as Bob and Kevin discussed the quality of the greens she in-explicitly 3 putted before blaming her playing partners for chatting while she was trying to putt. Kevin helpfully suggested she should concentrate on her own game not what was going on around her, which surprisingly didn't seem to help.

To prove the point she blobbed the next hole before recovering her composure for a solid finish with 31 points and a share of 5th place, with Robert, for her first 25p on this years money list.

Chris was playing well before chatgate.

This telling off seemed to inspire Kevin as he suddenly found his A game parring 4 of the next 6 holes to bring him back into contention.

Bob, on the other hand, never realised he had been told off as he slipped further back and finished on a disappointing 25 points.

An up and down day for Bob with some excellent shots mixed in with a few not so good ones

Coming to the last Kevin needed a par to seal victory and after a wayward drive and a thinned rescue somehow found himself on the back of the green. A reasonable approach putt left a tricky downhill 6 footer but now in the zone (and in silence) he rolled it in for 35 points and the £7 first prize.

Despite visiting a lot of bunkers, Kevin escaped from them all on his way to victory

Considering the tricky wet and windy conditions scoring was surprisingly high so hopefully the standard can be maintained as the tour moves on to Cromer in a couple of weeks time.

Round Norfolk Golf Tour summer comp 2019. Round 26 Grand Finale at Sheringham

The Race to Sheringham Grand Finale 2019

Round Norfolk Golf Tour summer comp 2019 round 26, The Grand Finale, took place at Sheringham on Thursday. It was the first time in tour history that 6 players were still in contention of winning the money list although with the other 5 competitions looking unlikely to change hands all focus was on just who would win today with points, birdies and blobs unlikely to matter.

To add to the drama the groups would be going out in reverse money list order. But first Bob had to undertake a fitness test to see if his back would hold up. This took place in the car park and was expected to be an intensive session. But after a single stretch of his arms above his head he declared himself fit and marched off to the practice area.

The first group headed to the first tee and although unlikely to win a season prize they were all in the running for todays £5 winners cheque which could also play a part in deciding on this years overall money list champion.

Sandie gets the final round of the season underway

John B, Mike and Sandie all had solid if not spectacular opening 9s with 16,15 and 14 points respectively. Mike was struggling on the recently dressed and scarified greens with a number of 3 putts.

However although he only got one 3 pointer all round he did have a blob free round meaning he finished the year in second place for the lowest average blobs comp. His total of 29 points kept him off the podium today.

It was Mikes putting not driving that let him down today

Sandie had a fairly similar experience and again only had the one 3 pointer as her second 9 also was worth 14 points for a 28 point total.

John describing his opening tee shot as he hit it

John B was best placed but then lost the plot on the back 9 with 5 blobs. Sandie had been playing mind games with him suggesting to him that he talked a lot (really?) and he was unable to function with his gob shut. He finished in last place on 25 points.

Things turned nasty in the bar as Mike hits john in the face with an imaginary baseball bat

The group behind featured Vince and Andrew who could both still win the money list with a win today and other results going their way. They both started with blobs which was one of 5 7's Vince had on the opening 9 but still had 14 pts.

Vince on the way to a 7

Andrew looked to have played himself out of contention with only 13 points on his opening 9.

However both players picked up on the back 9 and had 30 points after 17 holes before inexplicably both blobbing the last for their second blobs of the day as they came in on 30 points.

Andrew tying himself in knots as he drove off on the 3rd

Jill, on the other hand, was on golfing fire, as she tamed the front 9 taking full advantage of the extra par 5s available to ladies. She had 21 points and a repeat of that on the back 9 would give her the best round of the year but more of that later.

Jill was on top of her game today

The final group contained the real contenders for the money list prize and game faces were on. Greg Kevin and Bob were all scoring ok but none of them were at the top of their game with a few duffs, poor chips and missed putts mixed in with some good holes.

Greg was first to falter with a blob on the 4th and it looked like his chances of the money list were fading with only 14 halfway points.

Greg just stayed out of a 2nd fairway bunker and played a great shot on to the green

Kevin needed to finish above Greg and all was looking good until the par 5 7th when he foolishly got his driver out putting it just short of the beach and OOB for the first of 3 blobs over the next 5 holes. The back 9 was only marginally better and with a total of 26 points he was now reliant on others if he was to lift the money list crown.

Kevin chips onto the first to secure his first point of the day

As often happens it looked like Bob had also played his way out of contention before a Bob charge put him back in the running after 10 holes. However a visit to the bunker on the 11th and gorse bush on the 13th stalled his progress and only a good par on the final hole moved him away from bottom place to finish on 27 points. The money list victory that looked a shoe in before his back injury had slipped through his fingers.

Bob does well to get out of the long rough on the third for a 5.

Chris just needed to win today and the title would be hers and she certainly meant business as she had a faultless 20 pts on the front 9. Although after the 3rd bonus par 5 for ladies Bob was heard to say "not another one" as Chris claimed a 6 for 2. It was most un Bob like as he immediately apologised for saying out loud.

Chris hits away from another hazzard she just avoided to enter.

So by the time the payers had got halfway through the back nine there were only 3 players lefty who could win the title Kevin (if Jill could win and Greg stayed out the prizes), Greg (if he finished in top 3) or Chris (if she won outright).

Jill continued to play well and built on her opening 21 points with a blob free back 9. However her par, par finish made a real difference as she finished on 39 and was clear leader in the club house.

After Greg birdieded the 15th he had started to build a good score and was now playing match play with Chris. When she double bogeyed 16 and 17 there was only one point in it coming down the last.

Chris makes a good 2 putt on 14 as the tension mounted

Chris secured the two point bogey need to beat greg with 35 points but not enough to win the day.

Greg's 19 point back 9 had moved him up to 3rd place with 33 (what were the rest of you up to!!!) meaning his £1 third prize put him back ahead of Kevin to win the big prize.

Greg's back 9 was best of the day

He also won the average stableford points and lowest average blobs just missing out on the RNSG record on both.

Greg with one of his 3 trophies

Bob won the Eclectic with a new record score.

Bob with his Eclectic trophy which funnily enough was twice as big as all the other trophies

Kevin beat Andrew on countback for highest score of the season with 41 pts and set a new record to win the best 3 front and back 9's in July, August, September (and this year October).

Kevin with one of his best score trophies

With presentations completed the prize winners pooled their winnings to pay for the traditional fish and chip end of season formal dinner where next year the black tie dress code will be expected to be followed.

Hopefully all tour members have enjoyed this years summer tour and as many as possible will be joining in on the winter tour when it starts at Flempton in mid November.