RNSG Autumn Tour – Woodbridge Wanderers – 30 September 2020

An orderly, gang of 9 turned up to play in pleasingly symmetrical 3 x 3 balls at an excellently presented course in great settings, warmish weather with a fair breeze blowing and a big threat of rain on the last 9 holes.

For once the ladies and men played off the same stroke allowances showing that the Equal Handicap Allowances Matter campaign is finally gaining traction.

That tidy order belied the confusion a certain Mr Spanner had caused by leaving the address of Purdis Heath in the diary booking. Poor Greg and Vince who had put that post code in their sat navs, had set off in good time but realised close to Purdis Heath, or at it, that travel plans were amiss. Their subsequent mad dash to the right venue caused Greg to miss a lunch stop, and Vince dropped back to the re-organised last grouping to give him more time.  Nice to have you with us in spirit if not in actual presence Bob.

With pre-drawn pairs John Butler (returning from England over 80s winter hockey training) was included in the Barnard family bubble, Greg Gladwell was welcomed into Andrew and Jill Gooch’s family group. Vince became an honorary Frazer and joined up with Chris and Kevin to reminisce about IT in the 1980s, camper van tours, and days gone by when they all used to score 40 point hauls.

Time for the regular fashion report, well Robert Barnard wins this week’s best groomed player award with a smart blue and grey theme. That extra time on the hair-do was well worth it!  Andrew and Greg co-ordinated excellently in beige trousers and sports tops – it’s what the mature man is into this autumn, and it’s always handy for the mud stains to be the same colour as the trousers.

The miscommunication that had plagued Vince and Greg had clearly impacted the ladies dress sense too. Although playing the Woodbridge Golf Course there was no bridge, and no river – so why Jo, Jill and Chris all end up playing in life-jackets is unknown. Rumours that their diary bookings showed that we were playing a seaside course are being investigated.

Jo, Robert and John teed off first and in a tight first 9 tussle Jo won by a whisker (Jo you must get those seen to) with 17 points to the guys 16.

John gets things underway while Robert looks on in his smart golfing gear

Second group away saw Andrew find the course to his liking with a stylish 20 points. Greg having popped some anti-migraine pills on the second tee was not as co-ordinated in his golf as he was in his dress sense and limped to 14 points, just pipping Jill’s 13 points. 2 blobs each did for their chances of outright success.

Andrew and Greg discuss their disappointment on not winning the best dressed golfer prize

Following behind the re-emerging Vince struggled to a meagre 10 points with far too many blobs.

Vince on his way to his first blob of the day

Chris managed a steady 14 points and Kevin found some fine form with 18 points to be in a mid-way 2^nd place.

Chris nearly sunk this putt on the 3rd for what would have been a birdied but later on chipped in on the 16th for the only 4 pointer today

So onto the back 9 as the storm clouds gathered and the wind picked up, and the lifejackets were duly pumped. Jo and John stuttered with 14 and 13 points dropping them out of the mix on 31 and 29 points respectively. 

Jo emerges from the undergrowth after an unsuccessful search for the ball

Robert however buoyed by his best-groomed player award (note Robert was buoyed without a lifejacket) walked tall and proud for 17 points and a very acceptable 33 points total. Worthy of a place perhaps?

Greg got off to a poor start with 1 point in the first 2 holes and with waning interest and a sub-standard putter just avoided the wooden spoon with a poor 12 points and 26 in total. 

Jill found some form, as you would expect from the newly crowned Bawburgh Ladies Net and Gross Club Champion, and with 16 points could hold her head high (and well above water), totalling 29 points all together.

The last group also found the back 9 tougher, or is it really that we are all just a load of old gits that get tired far too easily nowadays? Vince reduced his blob quota so upped his game to a respectable 14 points, but won a really lovely spoon for the trophy cabinet. Chris got to the same 14 point total but by a different route, including the only 4 pointer of the day with a birdie on a par 5.

Chris suggests both her playing partners take provisionals on the 11th despite their original balls eventually being found on the edge of the fairway

That left “Long Covid” Kev to battle Silver Fox Andrew and Style Guru Robert for top honours. Things were looking good for Kevin until a blob on stroke index 17 pulled him back to equal 2^nd on 33 points with Robert leaving Andrew to take the crown and the winners pot for the day.

This was the last known sighting of Kevin's shiny green ball as it was never seen again after toeing it over the trees

The rain started as we were in the car park, so we were all grateful for a speedy 3 hours 40 minutes round that kept us dry. With the right postcodes in the sat navs everyone at least got home safely and quickly.

Although the temperature is falling things are hotting up in the Race to Sheringham, for The Autumn C19 Challenge Champion. It’s the biggie in UK golf right now and with not much sport going on in the UK there’s the possibility of a potential place on BBCs Sports Personality of the Year up for grabs and David Attenborough’s Instagram follower record is under threat.

Watch out for the next update as the tour swings back to the coast for the Hunstanton Sands of Glory Shield. (For the avoidance of doubt that is at PE36 6JQ).